Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize