You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
