She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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