I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize