I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
