i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am available for nakedness
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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