Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My feet surprised me
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