She is in my trunk
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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