belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
