I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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