why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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