using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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