if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
