i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
