Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
