my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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