So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
