I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I faked an abortion last night.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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