i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Drake has all the answers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize