billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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