are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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