I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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