I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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