I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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