dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
