i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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