Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
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