Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
