Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
