i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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