it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
