How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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