Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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