everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
