Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize