If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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