i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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