i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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