five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
