I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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