So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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