dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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