apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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