pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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