This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
