just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize