Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
