I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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