Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
