the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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