So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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