I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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