Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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