Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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