This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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