My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
