My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
