Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
